Is RESENTMENT present in your marriage?
When pastors and counselors (and radio broadcasters like us) talk about unforgiveness, we hit the big stuff.
Infidelity, deep hurts, past sins that really rocked your marriage boat. We talk about how to trust again, how to forgive and move on from what’s happened.
What doesn’t get talked about as much… but what goes on more often than those biggie sins, are all the little things.
He didn’t fix the car like he said he would. I’ve gained 15 pounds since our wedding but you’ve gained 50. I wanted to live in the country but we’ve been stuck in this neighborhood for the last 10 years.
I’ve always wanted to have a dog and you refuse to even consider the possibility. He always complains that I spend frivolously, but look at what he just bought. If he makes one more joke about my mom….
These little things start to stack up.
We don’t let them have a big corner of our hearts like we would if it was a headline sin like infidelity … but as the thoughts of these nagging issues come to us, we invite them in. We let them pull up a chair and prop up their feet.
We visit them often, to let them know we haven’t forgotten them. We feed those thoughts by repeating our spouse’s offense to ourselves to make sure they’re still there the next time we come to visit.
We almost treasure these hurts. We don’t want them to leave. Why is that?
We believe we’ve been treated unfairly.
And resentment starts to build, causing unseen catastrophic damage.
Ready to build again on solid ground? Good. We are too. Click below to start the process of letting go of resentment and pursuing your spouse like you want them to pursue you.