Is Your Marriage Hurting? There is Hope. Discover the First Step Toward Change...
Enough is Enough
Have you ever felt like enough is enough in your marriage?
I just can’t take it anymore. He’s never going to change. Am I really stuck in this marriage for the rest of my life? Enough is enough!
The lonely wife cries in desperation as she wonders if her marriage will ever match the fairy tale she envisioned when they first got married.
I give up. Nothing I do is ever good enough. What more does she want from me? It doesn’t seem to matter what I do, so why bother trying anymore? Enough is enough!
The frustrated husband heads to the garage, ready to invest in the things he knows will produce a favorable outcome, unlike the ungrateful woman he left inside. She used to be happy, even ecstatic, to be with him. He wonders what happened to the woman he married, and if she’ll ever return.
Can your marriage relate to either (or both) of these scenarios?
Maybe your marriage is tolerable, but you’d rather be thriving than just surviving.
Or perhaps you’ve reached a breaking point. Enough is enough. You want out (If this is you, click HERE).
Do not give up. Do not lose hope.
There is hope for your hurting marriage!
Do you want to explore different ways and tools to help heal the wounds that lay bare in your relationship?
Do you want to move from survival mode to hopeful thriving in your marriage?
In this post, you will learn to look at your old habits and patterns of thinking and say, this isn’t working. Enough is enough!
Read on to discover what is the first step to change, and what is at the heart of helping your hurting marriage.
The first step
It’s easy to google “how to fix a failing marriage,” (or some wording of that sort) and spend endless hours poring over search results. Clicking from link to link, ordering this book or that, jotting down all the advice put forth in light of today’s internet standards.
But most results you find will not lead to lasting change in your marriage.
When you put the Bible at the heart of what is happening between you and your spouse, you won’t go wrong.
All you need is God’s Word and a willingness to use it.
The first step to helping your hurting marriage is to open God’s Word and read what He has to say about a loving, Biblical marriage.
He gives great advice. Take it from someone who learned a thing or two about taking His word and applying it to her own marriage.
Can we put a pin in that for a moment?
I’d like to take a step back… before the first step… and ask you to do something.
Tell me… What Has He Done for You?
Before you can dig into the truth that God’s Word brings to a hurting marriage, you must first know where you stand with Him.
Take a moment to think about your testimony; how God brought you to Himself and how you became a believer in Jesus Christ.
Does your spouse know your testimony? Do you know your spouse’s?
Vow to Change: An encouraging call to action
Take time to share with each other how Christ changed your life.
If you are not sure how to answer that, perhaps you have not made the head-heart connection. You know all about Jesus Christ in your head, but your heart does not know Him in that way. (Or perhaps that statement is true for your spouse.)
Are you a believer?
In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. (1 John 4:9-10)
For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:23).
Are you a believer?
There are all kinds of Biblical advice for a hurting marriage, but nothing compares to learning and understanding the gospel and what it means for you and your spouse.
That is the foundation upon which we take our first step to healing our hurting marriage.
Believe that Christ paid the penalty for your sins and your spouse’s sins so that you both could have eternal life with Him. Accept His gift of grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8-9).
The gospel shows us that we can love our spouse- even when he least deserves it- because Christ first loved us! (1 John 4:19)
We can give grace when our spouse messes up- because we’ve been saved by grace through faith; it’s the gift of God (Ephesians 2:8).
Remember the pin we put in the last section? Let’s take that out…..
All you need is God’s Word and a willingness to use it. We must allow God’s Word to permeate our hardened hearts.
He will call sin what it is: sin.
Being confronted with our sin isn’t always easy.
Our inclination in trouble is to state our innocence. But God reveals our iniquity.
There is good news in the revelation, though!
When we recognize and take ownership of our sin, we can repent and seek forgiveness. Repentance always leads to grace, and we are reminded of the power in what Christ did for us.
2 Corinthians 12:9 says, But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Yes, we all have weaknesses- sin struggle, wrestling with our fleshly desires in our marriage, but can we trust that His power is made perfect in our weakness?
Can we believe that His grace is sufficient?
He will not leave us in our sin.
Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires (Galatians 5:24).
When we bring our struggle to Him, confess and repent, He will work in our weakness to bring glory to Himself and goodness to our marriage.
Do you believe it?
All the things…
Maybe you’re thinking, Sure... I guess I believe it. But if you knew all the things we’re dealing with in our marriage, you’d have doubts, too!
Ah, yes. All the things.
We ALL have things we’re dealing with in our marriages.
Two sinful people, each with fleshly wills, do not make it easy to unite as one in a Biblical marriage.
We are bent toward selfish desires and thinking things should be done our way.
We are often self-led instead of Spirit-led.
Your marriage may be experiencing trouble in any number of areas.
You and your spouse just don’t see eye-to-eye on issues such as:
Perhaps there are more emotional concerns at hand; you may be thinking:
My spouse doesn’t care how they’re making me feel
I feel hopeless in this marriage
There are control issues
Do not lose hope.
The Bible is NOT silent on these issues.
In this blog series, we will continue to identify some of the biggest stumbling blocks your marriage.
We will design a road map which will couple what you learn from God’s Word (Word up!) with your willing heart to listen and obey.
Remember, all you need is God’s Word and a willingness to use it to build hope and bring healing change to your marriage.
Want to know the fastest way to inspire change in your marriage? Check out the next post: Is Change Even Possible for My Marriage?
Listen to the corresponding podcast:
How to Help a Hurting Marriage: Intro. (Part 1):: [Episode 93]